so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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