I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
