I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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