This girl is more easily done than said...
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
