i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
