I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
