mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
