doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize