I want to walk on stilts...naked
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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