Cold hands, warm shart.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
