I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
