ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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