lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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