in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize