Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Randomize
