The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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