Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
