my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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