I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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