Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You can't motorboat a personality
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
