But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize