Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
