i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
whose ass print is on the piano?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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