You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
