these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize