In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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