i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Couch. On fire.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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