too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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