awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
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