sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
ugly people sure do ruin things
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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