you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
do herpes really smell.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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