I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I am available for nakedness
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
