Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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