there was a trapeze. enough said
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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