your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I could fuck to npr.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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