There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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