if you like me you must not know who I am
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
