Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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