i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
