Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
do nipples grow back?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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