Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Boobs are out for the taking
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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