she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
