Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
