That's intense
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
