i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
