He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
