I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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