hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
