We're like a lot better than the average bears
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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