I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Randomize