my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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