you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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