sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
