But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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