So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
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