I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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