You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize