areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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