You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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