you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
