I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
