i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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