i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
