Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
