love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
